The Scarlett App?
About a year-and-a-half ago I download an app for my iPhone called the “Offender Locator.” This app allows one to use their “current location” to locate the names, addresses, and faces of sex offenders. Upon downloading, I launched the application, pushed “current location” and within seconds, a list of 100 or so names appeared on the screen of my iPhone. Much like the Starbucks app or the Home Depot app, the Offender Locator app lists the names of the “sexual sinners” in accordance to how close in proximity to my iPhone they live.
Much to my dismay, several of them lived much closer to my iPhone than I would have liked. One guy in particular lived less than 1/10th of a mile from my iPhone.
“Oh, my gosh, a sex offender lives in my condo complex,” I thought, and then I selected his name, which opened up a page that included his picture, address, and his crime–sexual exploitation of a minor. As soon as I saw his picture, I thought, “I think I’ve seen that guy…” In truth, he looked like a lot of guys I know or have seen, so I wasn’t sure.
Meanwhile, conversations about this app happened from time to time among friends and me. “I bet realtors love that app,” I remember one friend saying. “It would come in handy if you’re looking for a new house,” said another. “Will you look up my address,” asked another, “I want to see if any of them live close to me.” And then another said, “Well, it does make me feel a little safer to know…”
And then one more friend said, “I think that app is a little gross. I mean, it’s one thing to be able to find out that information by logging into a government-run website, but when it’s on an app, it feels icky–like there are no boundaries or limitations when it comes to ‘feeling safe.’ And since there are no real details regarding a person’s crime, people simply assume the worst… ”
I didn’t really think about that friend’s comments until a couple months later when, as I walked across my condo association’s parking lot toward the gym, I saw him–you know, the sex offending him who lived closest to my iPhone. As soon as I realized who he was, I’m embarrassed to say that I labeled him and then I judged him and talked to myself about making sure I keep Elias away from him. As he walked by me our eyes met for a split second and then I turned and looked the other way. A part of me was disgusted by the sight of him, a part of me feared him, and a part of me wished he would move to someone else’s neighborhood.
As I worked out I kept thinking about the man’s face. Did he realize that I knew? Did he care? Did a small part of him want to explain his situation, offer me a reason to not be afraid of him? And then I thought about my reaction and I felt shame. The next day I talked to a friend (one of the three from the earlier paragraph) about what happened.
“If I hadn’t downloaded that stupid app, I wouldn’t have known anything about him,” I said. “I wouldn’t have had any reason to judge him or want to shun him. Dude, a part of me wanted to walk on the other side of the road. That’s crazy.”
“Well, you shouldn’t judge him,” my friend said, “But that’s not the app’s fault. At least you know not to use him as a babysitter. Don’t feel guilty about what happened. I like the app. I think information is power and we need to protect our kids from predators.”
“But what if our faces were connected to our sins and put on an iPhone app? How can anybody heal or become better when there’s an app that labels them by their sin?”
“He should have thought about that before he did the crime. Besides, statistics show that sex offenders don’t get better.”
“That might be true in certain cases, but that shouldn’t just be something we assume.”
“It’s a fact, Matthew. If it means our kids will be safer, I think it’s okay to assume.”
“But in most cases, the information on the app doesn’t tell you if the person is pedophile or a 20-year-old who sleeps with his 16-year-old girlfriend. And the information provided differs from state to state. And so we just end up assuming the worst.”
I’ve seen my “offending neighbor” several times since judging him. Rather than judging his 2006 crime, I started saying a short prayer for him whenever I saw him. Nothing too extravagant. Just a prayer that mercy finds away into his story. Two weeks ago, as I walked home from the gym, I saw him playing frisbee with his dog. His dog started running toward me. I leaned down and pet his head. The man walked toward me, yelling for his dog.
“Nice dog,” I said.
“Thanks.”
“By the way, my name’s Matthew.”
He tells me his name, though I already knew it.
“Nice to meet you.” I patted his dog’s head one last time. “Have a good afternoon.”
He nodded. I walked home and deleted the Offender app off of my iPhone. My friend is right: information is power. But sometimes it can also instill fear and unfairly judge a person’s “here and now.”
What if your name, face, and address were listed by your sin and then put on an iPhone app? What would be the category? Would it be liar? Gossip? Abuser? Deadbeat father? Slut? Druggie? Bragger? Bitch? Cheater? I know what some of you are thinking… “My sin doesn’t harm innocent children.”
Maybe not sexually. But certainly some of our sins can hurt our own children emotionally or mentally or socially…
But think about this: What if you were trying to not be a “slut” or trying not be a “deadbeat father”? How difficult would it be to overcome your past when anybody in the country could download your past onto their iPhone and shun you?
Please know that I’m not writing this post to offer answers or take a side. I’m all for keeping our children safe. But I’m also a huge proponent of redemption, hope, and second chances. And sometimes, navigating the line between those two idea isn’t easy…
You’re very right…it’s a hard line to walk.
Well, no. I wouldn’t want an app that would list for all my sins, foibles and shortcomings.
However, as a parent you have a much higher level of responsibility for this little life that God has entrusted to your care.
There is undeniable proof that pedophiles don’t get better. And unfortunately many get very light jail sentences.
I don’t know Tennessee law, but in California we do have access to the information to see if “the offender” was a 20 year old sleeping with a 16 year old…or someone from whom I should protect my children. If your neighbor had a history of abusing preschool aged boys…wouldn’t you rather know than not know?
While I wouldn’t download the app, I do access the government websites which provide similar information. It is one of the many things I do to protect myself and my family.
Well, this survivor is glad to have the knowledge. It’s not about judgment, I can and have forgiven and seen redemption, if only in death. For me it’s simply about protecting my daughters. So I just downloaded the app but I don’t care for the people that go after offenders trying to push them out of neighborhoods, I just want to know.
Oh, and I’m sure you didn’t mean to do this but comparing the nearly irreparable damage of sexual abuse with having a parent who lies or gossips?
This is probably the best post I’ve ever read by you.
If only we could have an app for “spiritual discernment”…
Absolutely great post. I think about this all the time actually – not to lessen any crime, but why should these people get branded a sinner for perpetuity, when God knows I’ve/We’ve done enough for others to be warned about.
To me, these apps provide more value for voyeurism than sexual safety. I think they’re touted as a means for protecting yourself or your kids, or whatever, but anytime I’ve browsed them, it’s been more about seeing who is “out there, among us.”
Thanks for the honesty.
I think we tread in dangerous territory when we use “sin” and “crime” interchangeably. These are people who committed crimes on this earth not just say, sins of the heart.
Also, the app is just like the government notification system, it tells you the charges and if the victim was younger than 14.
Weird. Mine didn’t tell me that information. Again, I believe the info provided differs from state to state.
Maybe it’s the version? I paid for the full version.
Totally, and I agree. I don’t want to offer insensitivity to your situation. I think sin and crime aren’t necessarily interchangeable, but I think the proliferation of these “resources” are the problem.
Someone like yourself doesn’t need this service to be made convenient. You’ve paid for the full version, so you’re obviously very serious about this kind of security. But, I’d argue that most people aren’t as concerned. They want the free app to scan for local “losers.” Maybe it’s here where grace should most apply.
No. Grace applies in a spiritual sense. Once you harm a child society has a right to protect its children from you. Especially since the incidents of NON-recidivism are almost nil.
We don’t get to make it easier for people to harm children because we like the feeling of offering grace. That makes no sense at all.
If you have/had children, would you leave them alone with any of these people? As an act of grace? You are likely to do just that without knowledge.
FWIW, far more offenders came up on this app than on my email notifications because the web one is set up by zip code and not mile range.
Completely awesome post.
Truly Excellent post.
Wow. We truly serve a God of grace. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Excellent, excellent post.
I have a feeling that if there was an app that listed all of my sins (and your sins too), none of us would want to live anywhere near each other. I think a lot of us spend a lot of time trying to pretend like our sins are not as great as others, when the fact remains, we are filthy. And, ANYONE can change. To judge someone so harshly on past sins is not fair.
If I am not mistaken, Jesus spent quite a bit of time with the very people that some of us would rather keep out of the neighborhood.
I don’t think it’s about judgment here so much as protection. Read the statistics on sexual predators. They are rarely able to reform. They compare even the successful ones to recovering alcoholics, you still shouldn’t leave them alone with a bottle (child).
Jesus can heal but it doesn’t happen much in this situation, often because the guilt the person carries is too great. I forgave my abuser but he wasn’t truly free and redeemed until he died and could no longer harm an innocent child. That’s when I understood redemption. That part of him was finally gone and I could remember the good things without the taint of his addiction.
What if the app revealed a person sitting next to you in church? Or someone you grew up with…
I don’t have the app (cause I don’t have an iPhone) but I was looking at the government site one night for my state and found a person who I not knew since I was a child, but had recently been baptized and joined our church.
I struggled with what to do, should I do anything, what about the children…. responsibility? protection? grace? mercy?
Fortunately (or not) I didn’t have to make that call. He hasn’t been back-Part of me wonders if someone else found the same information and didn’t have a moment of hesitation, or that he may have been in between trail and sentencing when he came to our church.
I wish there had been an app to reveal my own uncle to his brother, my father. There is a reason this happens most often within families, we never think it’s the person it turns out to be. They are VERY good at pretending.
I read, I listened, I pondered.
And no, I think you’re mistaken. Perhaps you have peace over having gotten rid of the power, but I think you’re making the common and current mistake of placing Tolerance on a higher tier than safety of your loved ones. Your reaction to that person’s actions weren’t wrong, they were justified.
People must be warned, that’s why the laws were made. These people generally don’t “get better”. And while I agree that the law should be fixed so it doesn’t include 20 yr old on 17 yr old sex activity, that doesn’t negate the importance of the app’s info.
Yeah, but it doesn’t need to be a free app on a phone everyone has. Those who are truly concerned will do their research and this information should be made available to them.
Again, I don’t want to offer any insensitivity, but what if every girl was warned about every nearby guy who was addicted to porn? Of course, lusting isn’t technically a crime, but it’s a small, similar example.
So it should only be available to those of us with the resources? Internet access and the knowledge that a database even exists? Nope.
I don’t think we’ll see a rash of people downloading this for fun.
Porn is not a similar example to child abuse. Please stop.
I think someone whose been the victim of pornography – whether it’s someone entrenched in it, or the spouse of someone who is would argue your point. It’s not the same, but it could be as devastating.
You ask us/me not to confuse the criminal/spiritual separation between the two, but I might ask you to consider doing the same. As a “victim” of the heinous act, please understand I mean no disrespect, but it’s just as offensive for you to diminish the profound depravity of pornography as it would be if I had done the same with child abuse.
And no, information about sexual criminals shouldn’t be hidden from those without resources (btw, an iPhone is a pretty exotic “resource” itself), and it’s not – for good reason. But the companies propagating the “sex offender” alerts aren’t doing it for protection, they’re doing it for profit. And churning our collective paranoia.
So, I will stop, but not because I’m insensitive, or wrong. I just want to stop arguing.
I did not diminish the depravity of pornography but if an adult makes a choice and becomes addicted, they harm themselves and by extension the adults involved in the industry. They may also harm their partner, but it is their choice. It is apples and oranges in these comparisons. I’m talking about children having their innocence stolen and you’re comparing it to some guy looking at porn. The offender notification app does have a profit, the state registries do not. I don’t understand your point that we should be able to access this info online but not on our web-enabled phones.
And really, most people have smart phones now, even the poor ones.
I’ve looked at the government site and like you said, there were hundreds that came up with in 15 miles of us and if it were one of my neighbors, I would try to do what I could to find out what the actual crime was because I do know more than one 19 year old that was dating a 16 year old and is on that list for statutory rape. My thoughts on that is: I want my girls to stay pure, I pray that they do. But if I’m going to press charges for rape if one of them willingly has sex with their boyfriend, because I felt that the boy was enough older, to be able to manipulate her into having sex, then it was my poor judgement for supporting the relationship in the first place.
However, the reason that I don’t put a whole lot of stake in those sorts of lists is not because they make me more fearful, it’s because I’m afraid it’ll give me a false sense of security. I don’t want to be the all cynical “the world is going to hell in a hand basket” but, the fact is, we’re living in a broken world that belongs to Satan and everyone is dealing with skeletons of their past (some worse than others). Those skeletons sometimes have devestating effects on people. For every pedophile that’s on that list, there’s probably at least one that isn’t. And they all, had to have a first victim. If I send my child one direction down the road because I know that there is a sex offender living the other direction, I might just send her right into the arms of another one. And one that’s good at hiding it! I just think that it’s wise to be super cautious in this area, list or not.. It’s something way to precious to take any chances with.
Having said that, I do think that it is our job as Christians to love every person despite their sin. And you’re right, there aren’t any known cases of a recovered pedophile. But my fear is that we like it that way. I’m afraid that it’s often the case that Christians (though it isn’t the way of Christ at all) like to keep a dog down. It’s one thing to want to protect our kids but it’s a total other to hope for someone’s demise.
Exactly. That list only shows the ones who have been convicted. Not the ones who have not been caught, reported or were arrested by released with out trial for whatever reason.
Excellent post. It’s so easy for me to judge people when I know about their past. While I’m thankful information is available on violent/sexual criminals, Chrisitans need to stay focused on forgiving and redeeming.
Your post was a wonderful reminded. I have that app too.
We are to forgive our neighbor and not hold their sins against them. I’m not holding Sex Offender A’s sin against him (or her), I’m holding his earthly transgression against him. Which is different.
Is it though? God forgives all our transgressions, Jesus would have had lunch with Sex Ofender A, Jesus would have loved him and accepted him. If you can’t look past someones earthly transgression you can’t forgive them of their sin.
God would never let that man anywhere near His children though. It was important to my healing to imagine my uncle in Heaven and God saying, “Welcome, I love you.” And then He looks him dead in the eye and says, “YOU HURT MY CHILDREN.” I can’t imagine much worse than that but that’s it, then they move on. But God our Father would never endanger a child by confusing forgiveness and grace with ignorance.
Once again you’re confusing earthly law breaking and SIN, which is “Missing the mark” of God’s design and separates us from God.
It’s not that I don’t accept that person, or think that they are a part of the body of Christ. But I’m not going to leave them access to my child. It has nothing to do with not forgiving them, it has everything to do with the fact that there are no proven therapies to rehabilitate the minds of child molesters and I want to protect my child and the sex offender. Do I think that he or she WANTS to molest my child? Probably not. Do I think that his/her mind is perverted and works against their very core values? Absolutely.
I am also a victim of childhood sexual abuse. This is the voice of experience.
I must say that I have serious problems with the sex offender registry on it’s own, so that app really gets under my skin. If the registry was working as it was intended to, if it were effective/accurate… people use the list as a way to justify their acts of hate and discrimination. I know I don’t have a particularly popular view on this, but there has got to be a better way. Sexual crimes should not be tolerated, but not everyone on the list is actually a criminal… just ask the 18yo who had a girl walk in on him while he was using the well marked MENS room. She freaked out because of what she saw and he ended up on the list. If this were an isolated occurrence it would be one thing, but stories like this are happening with increasing frequency. We have a flawed system full of flawed people. Including me. I dare say including you.
So, I guess it just comes down to what you do with the knowledge. Do you jump to conclusions? Do you ask the offender’s story and judge for yourself? Do you respond with love even while you protect your family? That doesn’t mean inviting the person over for dinner. How do you act once you know?
Tracey, well said.
I know of these stories too and they are awful, I personally know three sex offenders who shouldn’t be on any registry. It’s a travesty. But that’s a separate issue, IMO. Change the registry, yes, but also keep it available.
I’m way late to this discussion – but I know someone who was put on the list. He was over 21, having a party, and had WAY too much to drink. He went to what he thought was his bathroom, which was actually his front yard, to pee, and someone saw him and pressed charges. For the rest of his life he’ll be on this list for one drunken bathroom error.
The lists are not accurate. As a mom, I definitely want to know about the creep, molester, or rapist. The partier who has some accidental nudity at a stupid party? Not my concern. But these lists, at least the ones I’ve seen in Texas, don’t specify one from the other. Our system is jacked and clearly one of these things is not like the other.
Yes, the lists really need fixed. Ours at least lists the charge.
I agree with vegas710! Ive not been a victim of a sexual crime nor has my child, but I believe protection of kids goes way before the privacy or the rights of a criminal. I live in the Netherlands and we do not have this information to us. And I can not comprehend that! We should be allowed to protect our kids and know this! If I, on beforehand could know where nót to live, I would choose elsewhere. Even though more people might be predators than Id care to know. Whats been revealed to me, is MY responsibility!
Yes, there should be a distinction for what the crime was. Harm done to a child is far more horrific than two teens having sex.
@Brookie, I like your question….but its a tough one.
I don’t know, you could then argue that protection of yourself goes beyond privacy. In which case everyone should be privy to the police database.
If you ARE looking after your children you’ll know if you can trust someone or not, and if you ask God, you’re guaranteed to not pick a dud babysitter.
I don’t think people should be privy to that sort of information. Here in NZ we most certainly aren’t, and no one has trouble getting to know someone, trusting them and perhaps using a bit of their brain.
I will admit I am a little bias on this option, only because as a teenager a girlfriend of mine laid a false rape complaint against my name with the Police and needless to say I am still ‘black dotted’ – i.e. if my name comes up in a rape complaint again in the (near) future (ten years from the date) – I won’t be handled with the same curtsy as I was as a teenager. And if anyone (other then employers) were privy to that sort of information you have no idea of the social stigma that it carries. Hell, my youth group at the time abandoned me (because she went to the same youth group) and I was the church kid! Out of 35 young kids and 5 leaders, 1 leader and 2 guys stuck by my side, the sad thing being that the leader who stuck by my side wasn’t the youth pastor, sure he said he believed me, but he never made an effort to catch up – yes I am VERY aware that there is still a wound there about that. ANYWAY..Rant over. Enjoy your…Thursday..tis Friday here in NZ..love it.
Im very sorry for what you had to go through. a friend of mine had something similar happening to him, so I know a bit of what it can be like. I really hope I would not be the one turning against you…
Still, I dont think a person can fully know whether another person is worth trusting them with your kids. Unless you’re friends with that person, but usually you’re not friends with your whole neighborhood.
As for me, being an adult, its a whole other subject, if I would chat with an excon or invite him to a bbq. And if was living alone, I could do those things, but not as long as my child lives here as well.
Ehm, in NL its Friday as well, just started half hour ago
NL? Im from New Zealand, we’re like a whole other world away from you guys and don’t understand state/city shorthand.
I don’t understand your statement “I don’t think a person can fully know whether another person is worth trusting them with your kids. Unless you’re friends with that person, but usually you’re not friends with your whole neighborhood.” – why would you entrust anyone who wasn’t a friend with your kids? My mates only ever have friends babysit, and I have only ever baby sat my nieces and nephews or a gf’s nieces or nephews – with the gf being there as well, obviously. I can understand the excon thing, but I would hope that at one point or another I would come to understand if they had really changed their behavior or not, and again, would be asking God of the wisdom of it. Cons can change, despite public opinion.
Kick-ass, facts don’t lie. The vast majority of child sex offenders do not recover.
“Another perspective on the problem is offered by Anna Salter, one of the foremost experts on sex offenders in the country. She writes the following in her popular book Predators:
“The dry research figures only confirm what I have seen over and over in this field: there are a lot of sexual offenses out there and the people who commit them don’t get caught very often. When an offender is caught and has a thorough evaluation with a polygraph backup, he will reveal dozens, sometimes hundreds of offenses he was never apprehended for. In an unpublished study by Pamela Van Wyk, 26 offenders in her incarcerated treatment program entered the program admitting an average of 3 victims each. Faced with a polygraph and the necessity of passing it to stay in the treatment program, the next group of 23 men revealed an average of 175 victims each.”
Chances are that you know a sex offender and don’t even realize it. It’s a very conservative estimate that 25% of ALL girls are sexually abused before adulthood. You’d be amazed at how well the offenders cover their sins.
I think that it can be problematic in that it can provide a false sense of security. Sure, now you know the people around you who are registered, and try and protect yourself and your children from them. But there’s plenty who either commit these crimes and aren’t registered, or who will commit this crimes and just haven’t yet. And if you let your guard down because you think that only the people who are registered are going to be a threat, you’ve making yourself vulnerable.
No, I wouldn’t like my sins to be made public, but at the same time, I agree with “He should have thought about that before he did the crime.” Having to register as a sex offender *is* part of the consequences of that specific kind of crime. I could ask the same question of any crime. “You wouldn’t want to be killed for your sins, would you? You wouldn’t want to go to prison for thinking that horrible thought about your spouse, would you?” Does that negate the fact that some crimes – and some sins – warrant those consequences? Specific crimes have specific consequences. And for sex offenders, this is one of them.
And, as a victim of sexual assault, I have to say that I am tired of the “we shouldn’t judge” mentality, only in that I’ve dealt with far too many Christians who would turn a blind eye to the possibility of others’ safety for the sake of “not judging.” It almost seems…selfish to me, as though they’re so concerned with making sure that they’re not sinning by judging that they would rather not be cautious or try to protect others from him. I’ve just heard far to many “let it go” “He’s changed and you’re both Christians, so you need to forgive or God won’t forgive you” “We’re all sinners, so he’s no better than you are” or my favorite (this one was from my mother) “Isn’t it so sad that he’ll never be able to work with children because people will only see that he’s a sex offender? He has to live with that forever.” Yes. He does. And I have to live with what he did to me for the rest of my life as well. Enduring the status of “sex offender” in no way is comparable, and in no way makes up for what he did to me.
And frankly, I feel that in my (now former) church’s attempts to be so nonjudgmental, so quick to forgive and let it go and look past it, they have disregarded everything that I, and his other victims, went through because of him. It’s easy to look past and forgive what you never had to endure.
I realize that it is a tricky topic, and it’s hard to figure out how to extend mercy and forgiveness. But forgiveness and mercy shouldn’t come at the price of others.
This probably comes off a little harsher than it is intended to. I’m not even sure if I stayed on topic. This is just a major trigger subject for me. I think I should turn the computer off now.
The stuff about sins vs crimes and punishments is exactly what I was thinking but not communicating well. I also like that “selfish” part. I know it sounds harsh but it’s not judgment to acknowledge that someone cannot be around children.
Personally I think the registry is a waste. Here in Michigan, you can’t (last I heard) see the offense the person was convicted for. And that doesn’t always make a difference. Most sex offenses against minors are pled down because parents, or prosecutors, don’t want to further traumatize victims by having to put them on the stand. The problem IMO is that the registry doesn’t stop repeat offenses. It’s a list, not concrete walls with bars and barbed wire. A parolee can register an address with his PO, then go live elsewhere (how often do they really get checked?), or just wander over to a schoolyard in another part of town. If we are really that afraid of these people, we should keep them locked up, not cut them loose and then pretend we’re keeping tabs on them by requiring them to register an address online. It’s not working or we wouldn’t still have high recidivism rates since the registries were created. Stiffer sentences for lesser sexual crimes would make more sense. You can go away for life on a third-strike drug offense, but you can molest a kid and not go away for nearly as long. It doesn’t make sense.
My uncle molested someone for 9 years and made videos of many young girls. He did 6 months work release. It’s bullshit.
Working with the military we do risk assessments on a daily basis to figure out what the right move is to keep people and equipment safe. The main factors are these:
1. How likely is something to occur?
2. How bad will it be if it does occur?
3. Given the first, what’s the acceptable cost of stopping the second?
So using that scale…
1. Recidivism rates are high for child molesters. We can all cite the studies that best suit our position but it’s pretty clear that a good number of offenders tend to keep going as long as they’re able to. Is the guy on your street one of them? If we don’t know then we don’t know.
2. Impact? Devastating. Unthinkable. Unspeakable horror.
3. So what’s an acceptable cost to stop something that has a pretty good average of happening? If it’s a choice between making you feel bad and keeping my kids safe…well that’s pretty much a no-brainer.
That doesn’t mean I’ll throw rocks through your windows or slash your tires. It doesn’t mean I’ll keep you from attending my church or refuse to say “good morning” to you if you do. But I’m not going to pretend that your crime never happened and assume somehow that naivete is just another word for godliness.
I think I love you.
This. This, this this.
Thank you.
I don’t think anyone is arguing to remain naive about someones past, what I think the issue is labeling someone on a public system.
Obviously some people are going to have stronger opinions then others due to life experience, but I personally don’t see how making someones criminal record public is going to make someones kids any safer. If someone is actually being a parent, only letting them go to peoples house whom they know and trust, then your neighbor, or someone on your block who is a sex offender isn’t going to effect that. If something does happen in your neighborhood then the Police are really the only people who need to know whom to question first.
The problem with this sort of information being public is that more often then not if/when something happens people automatically blame the person with the most social stigma. A parallel example to this would be many African American men wrongly imprisoned for crimes simply because they are black. Should burglars have to have a registry so you know when someone with a history of theft moves in next to you? What about DUI drivers? You can take it as far as you like, all you are ever going to do for these people is place a social stigma on them.
How is it going to keep kids safer?
How about the bus stop that has been the same place in my neighborhood for years. A new person moves in who is a sex offender. We don’t want my neighbor-girl to be standing there, alone, in the morning for any period of time waiting on the bus. We asked the district office to move the bus stop.
If the bus stop have stayed there, there was a huge possibility for something to happen to my young neighbor-girl. Do you see how knowing that information helps us protect our kids?
thanks, darrell! I didnt know the military works this way. good to know and great that you make this comparison.
thanks for sharing, Matthew. needed that. I believe grace and redemption are God’s gift that we must give to others every day.
I’m loving all the grace and mercy that is being spread around here…
What would Christ do? Jesus was moved by compassion. He knew everybody’s hearts and loved all of mankind equally.
Of course we should use discernment and keep our children safe. But let’s not let any of our own judgments keep us from showing love to all of humanity just as Jesus did.
win jon. win.
My knowing that Bob down the street is a sex offender and asking for the school bus stop to be moved so that my 7th grader doesn’t stand out there alone in his yard is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from me not showing love to him as a child of God.
I am very upset by the fact that there is little separation (in the many of these comments) between me knowing who someone is and protecting my child from him and me outright judging him.
I don’t think that you all realize that this is not judgment when we talk about not wanted to allow sex offenders access to children. This is a proven medical fact. It is sad but true. Please make this distinction.
I would think a sex offender wouldn’t be allowed near anything like a school bus stop, his parole officer would have to ok his residence in line with the conditions of his release…or maybe that’s just wishful NZ thinking.
So you can honestly say that when you found out ‘Bob’ was sex offender the first words that jumped to mind WEREN’T ‘pervert’, ‘disgusting’, ‘evil’ etc.
I concede that research done on a scientific basis has shown sex offenders don’t change their behavior…but I don’t think they included someone actually taking the loving time to talk with the person, on a relational level, not a shrink level (and yes, believe me there is a difference, even if you’ve been seeing your shrink for YEARS) or someone praying for them..I don’t know, maybe its me, but if God can heal some dudes broken leg in an instant, make the blind see and help a couple of guys walk on water then something in me thinks he can take away the old mindsets – admittedly, prayer does have to be consented to and the person receiving it has to believe in the healing power of God, but God has done more miraculous miracles.
There are some areas that prohibit sex offenders from being near bus stops. That’s why so many are ending up homeless. There aren’t many places not near a bus stop!
We know that God can do miracles, that doesn’t change anything when it comes to the recidivism rates of sex offenders.
You keep making this assumption that we can know about a person if we know that person. It’s simply not true. My dad knew his brother, it would never had occurred to him that this man he trusted would harm a child. That’s not a failure on my dad’s part. Do you know the sexual proclivities of every friend you have? I doubt it.
That is wishful thinking. I am talking about a school bus stop. These things are not run through the county and their locations are on a need-to-know basis, so a parole officer wouldn’t be involved. It’s up to us to protect our children.
I can honestly say that when I found out Bob was a sex offender, all I thought was that Bob was a sex offender. I don’t know him. He lives a good way up the street from me and I’ve never had any cause to try to get to know him; he’s not my neighbor.
So I didn’t start judging him when I learned he was a sex offender. I don’t know anything else about Bob, other than the fact that he repeatedly tries to sell cars and RVs out of his tiny yard, making it a mini-used car dealership and that’s more than a little tacky.
I just knew he was a sex offender. And I was relieved to know that so I could move the bus stop so that Neighbor-Girl wouldn’t be there alone.
“What would Christ do? Jesus was moved by compassion. He knew everybody’s hearts and loved all of mankind equally. ”
I don’t know people’s hearts. I know their actions on Earth. And on Earth, I am NOT WRONG for applying years and years of medical FACT to protect children.
Don’t you dare say that I’m not compassionate. I have the greatest compassion for those guilty of committing sexual crimes. I don’t think that you understand how policies like a registry protect the offenders from themselves.
You’re a brilliant storyteller and this is beautiful.
Thanks.
http://stopbaptistpredators.org/index.htm
“Sexual abuse of children is going on in Protestant churches, and it is…irresponsibility to ignore it….”
“Denominational judicatories in the mainline Protestant traditions have taken formal…steps to prevent and report all forms of sexual abuse in their churches.”
Question: When will Southern Baptists, Cooperative Baptists and most other Baptist groups provide their children with similar safeguard systems?
Read more in EthicsDaily >
This is, far and away, the very best post I have read on your blog in all the time I have been following it. The most valuable thing you can offer your readers is this kind of insight into the way all of us wrestle with the issues of life, including those that deal with our fears, judgment of others, and prejudices. Transparency is the hallmark of someone who has experienced grace.
I’ve started and stopped writing a response to this about five times.
All I really can say is, to vegas710 and Brookie, thank you for standing up for the victims of abuse.
I think this is my favorite post I’ve ever read from your blog.
How insightful and beautiful, and I really appreciate you adding the fact that this crime could have been horrific, but also could have been something of a less…threatening variety to your personal situation.
I’m saving this post for future reference.
This is a good post, and most of what I would say has already been said. It’s a tough line to walk. When I was young, my uncle on my mom’s side was convicted of raping a minor – a little girl younger than 10. When I was born, he kept offering to babysit. My parents, of course knowing my uncle’s history, said no repeatedly and thank God they did. Was it unloving for them to do so? Not necessarily. People seem to assume that in order to show someone the love of Christ, we have to also let them walk all over us, which is not the truth. Christ also rebuked his closest friends and disciples a lot (read Mark if you disagree), but he never stopped loving them. Indeed, it is within this sort of rebuke that the disciples knew they were loved enough that Jesus cared. See the chapter in Hebrews about discipline.
When my parents told my uncle that he couldn’t come near me, this was perceived as hurtful by him, but it not only was a move to protect me, but also to protect him. It is like the brother whose stumbles over eating meat (Romans 14) – don’t put him in the path of temptation. Especially if a crime is as heinous as pedophilia, it is not unloving to say “I’m going to protect my child *and* keep you out of temptation by not letting you near him. This doesn’t mean that we, as adults, cannot have some sort of friendship.” I don’t think we are in the wrong to want to protect our children, but if it leads to complete ostracizing of said sex offender, then that is a problem as well.
My father now works in the state prison, teaching classes such as “Impact of Crime on Victims,” attempting to get criminals to see that no crime is victimless. While he usually deals with the basic robbery, drugs, etc, there is the occasional sex offender in his classes. And what’s he’s discovered is that a lot of them don’t want to be the way they are – as we’ve mentioned, it’s nearly impossible to recover from something like that – but they are. While many do go out and commit the crime again, just as many are trying hard not to. It’s an impossibly hard thing to overcome, and I think labeling them and writing them off (which this iPhone app allows you to do quite quickly) is the wrong way to love them and show them that Christ’s love.
By no means do I advocate that you let the guy babysit. Ever. But, this doesn’t mean you stop being friendly, which is something the app may prevent. I think a lot of this is “Am I going to let this new knowledge I have of you change how I treat you every day?”
Fantastic reply!
Thanks.